when it all falls apart.

sheryl;
i guess words cannot describe how hurt i am right now. they can't. don't you dare say that i wasn't there for you. but i guess you forgot that i held your hand and tried to talked to you after father shouted at you. you pushed me away. then father told me to go down. cause he wanted to talk to you.
i wanted to talk to you after that. but then audrey started crying even more. then i thought. maybe i should let you reflect. and we had to shift tables. and wen we all came back up. priss was already talking to you.
i gave up at that point.
cause i know that even if i say anything. you would just turn to priss. like you always do. its been too long now. and i guess i would just stop ignoring that fact.
but how did she let you see both sides of this situation may i ask? i'm not saying anything about the rest. just this. because everything was the outcome of this. was she there when you said that to everyone else. those few words that hurt not only me but everyone else in the group.
you want me to message you every now and then? to ask if you were alright? there are two sides to a coin. i don't believe in one sided relationships. i gave up trying to call you. because you always say that you would call me back. and i wait for the call. but they never came.
you never tell me what is it about me that you're not comfortable with. amanda and audrey do. thats why i feel more comfortable to them.
i'm lost as well. cause there is so much going on. ask them. they know. but they never press me to tell them. only when i'm ready.
i don't talk as well as priss. i'm only good at giving hugs. and that is all i can do. thats all i'm good at. i'm sorry that i'm not goos with words to tell you what is right and what is wrong. i wasn't born with such a gift.
i don't hate you. i never can. i still love the sheryl i grew up with.
i'm not going to say anything about you and priss anymore. cause i gave up. i gave up on trying so hard when i get nothing in return.

sean;
there is always a reason for everything. you're not the only one who is tired of all this. i am too. there is so much i want to say to you. but how am i going to say them to you when you say such hurtful things to me? i remembered the look of your face when you told me to go away. i tired to cheer you up. but you kept asking me to go away. i would have stayed there. but i couldnt before i broke down and cried infront of you and christie. i don't want you to see me cry. and so i left.
i sent you that message. one you sent me a really long time ago. about how i mean too much to you for you to hurt me. so i guess i mean nothing to you anymore. cause you seem to hurt me constantly. i don't know. i want to call you and tell you exactly how i feel. but i don't know if im up to it or not.
you don't want me to be dependant on you anymore. and i shan't. but i miss you already. i wanted to ask you to go swimming with me tomorrow. but i'm not sure if you would want to or not. in a way. that message was done in the spur of the moment. i'm sick of trying to make the effort.
i'm tired. i'm exausted. i'm geting slapped in the face. every part of the face. woth everything i do. and i don't feel alright.
i was crying just now. crying really bad. and i wanted to call you and confide in you. but i realised and remembered that i said something. and i can't take it back.
so all i ask of you is for us to talk this out. please. i don't want this anymore. i don't want us to be upset with each other. cause its too painful to even think about it.
i still love you. you're still precious to me.

christie;
i called you so many time. i wanted to cry out to you. i'm sorry for expecting so much out of you.

charmaine;
thank you sweetheart! for hearing me when i cried. thank you for that post too. i'm really touched by you. my backside! i love you too dear!

audrey;
don't lose heart! continue to have faith! i know you can let the group the shine! and don't think that you're pathetic. and don't think that you're unable. cause if you need help. manda and i will be here to help you through anything. you know we will. i'll give you strength when you need it.
i love you.



cause i can't turn to you when it all fall apart.